Scott Silven knows a thing or two about putting on a great event. He’s hosting a dinner and a show combo titled At the Illusionist’s Table in New York City, a practically sold-out run of elegant magic that managed to impress our esteemed editor-in-chief. With that expertise in how to impress guests, Vogue reached out to Silven to get his tips on how the average fashionista can recreate the same amount of mystique at their own soirees.

The result is…well, it is something.

On the one hand, Silven really does know how to delight a crowd in an intimate setting. And his whole attitude in the interview is pretty wonderful. “The idea of mentalism or illusion and immersive theater in general feels particularly relevant because we live in a time of unrest,” he told Vogue. “We are all instinctively seeking out experiences that project positivity, allow us to hopefully look at the world in a different way.” If you want to do something special at an event, Silven’s advice is spot on.

But you’d better be working with a pretty platinum budget. The way Vogue presents the specifics of the advice is a wee bit posher than any party I’ve thrown. For instance, I too am a strong believer in the power of the right tastes and treats to set the mood for your night. But I can’t quite picture unveiling a main course through a cloud of fog from a smoking gun. That would necessitate a) installing some serious ventilation in my apartment, and b) having main courses to serve. Not sure the effect would be quite the same if the smoke parted to reveal a bowl of chips and guac.