Kids used to be easy to entertain, at least until the advent of the tablet. Now everything you do has to compete with the unending allure of Clash of Clans, Minecraft, and the eternal sociopolitical power struggle that is Facebook. Fortunately, Underbelly Festival in South Bank, London, has just the thing to keep your awful spawnlings (aged 6+) entertained for an hour: magicians! And strong women, comedians and a hula hoop specialist.

The Variety Club 4 Kids is split into two shows taking place at 3:30pm on the 29th and 30th of May.

The first show includes:

Betty Brawn –  A strong lady who “uplifts audiences worldwide with a playful mix of strength, grace and comedy.”

Neil Kelso – A magician who invites audiences to “experience beautiful mystery.”

Howard Read – A touring comedian whose shtick is a combination of stand-up, animated skits and songs. 

Sam & Mabel – Who don’t seem to have a website but do promise “Sketch comic children and probable adorableness.”

While the second show consists of:

Ada Campe – Of Ada Campe and the Psychic Duck fame. Described as resembling “an unhinged supervillain,” by Diva Magazine. 

Oliver Tabor – a multi-award winning magician and illusionist. 

Kalki The Hula Girl – I think this one is pretty self explanatory.

That lineup is so good I honestly think it’s wasted on all those awful tiny proto-humans. Tickets are on sale now and start at £10.25 plus a £1.50 booking fee.