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You know that funny feeling you get in your chest when you see a good magic trick? That little beat-skipping spark of joy that cuts through the crusty, build up of cynicism that’s slowly settled around your soul during the long, arduous years of adulthood? Well, that’s how I feel about a good margarita. 

And bad margaritas.

And actually just tequila in general, come to think of it.

But there is a certain kind of magic in good booze, which is why the cocktail masterclass offered by Harry Potter-inspired watering hole, The Cauldron, sounds like it’s right up my (Diagon) alley. The one-hour-and-45-minute course mixes booze with a splash of Harry Potter-inspired magic, letting punters “wield working magic wands and molecular mixology to brew drinkable elixirs.”

Tickets for the short semester of magical mixology cost £29.99 plus a small deposit for the magic wand, which they want back at the end of the lesson. Prospective students obviously have to be 18 or older.

Kids used to be easy to entertain, at least until the advent of the tablet. Now everything you do has to compete with the unending allure of Clash of Clans, Minecraft, and the eternal sociopolitical power struggle that is Facebook. Fortunately, Underbelly Festival in South Bank, London, has just the thing to keep your awful spawnlings (aged 6+) entertained for an hour: magicians! And strong women, comedians and a hula hoop specialist.

The Variety Club 4 Kids is split into two shows taking place at 3:30pm on the 29th and 30th of May.

The first show includes:

Betty Brawn –  A strong lady who “uplifts audiences worldwide with a playful mix of strength, grace and comedy.”

Neil Kelso – A magician who invites audiences to “experience beautiful mystery.”

Howard Read – A touring comedian whose shtick is a combination of stand-up, animated skits and songs. 

Sam & Mabel – Who don’t seem to have a website but do promise “Sketch comic children and probable adorableness.”

While the second show consists of:

Ada Campe – Of Ada Campe and the Psychic Duck fame. Described as resembling “an unhinged supervillain,” by Diva Magazine. 

Oliver Tabor – a multi-award winning magician and illusionist. 

Kalki The Hula Girl – I think this one is pretty self explanatory.

That lineup is so good I honestly think it’s wasted on all those awful tiny proto-humans. Tickets are on sale now and start at £10.25 plus a £1.50 booking fee.