There is no better symbol for peace and innocence than the noblest of mythical creatures, the unicorn. Coincidentally, there is no better symbol for the cynical age we live in than said avatar of peace of and innocence wandering around a park trying to flog biscuits to students.

The appearance of Shimmer the apparent unicorn in Glasgow Park was a marketing stunt by northern confectionery manufacturer Lees of Scotland, set to coincide with National Unicorn Day on April 9th. They celebrate National Unicorn Day in Scotland, you see. 

It may surprise you to learn that the unicorn, a creature now most commonly associated with 13-year-old girls, has been Scotland’s national animal since the late 1300’s. Far from being considered purveyors of friendship (which I’m told is magic), unicorns were once believed to be wild and dangerous beasts, which is why the two on the royal coat of arms of Scotland were bound by golden chains. When England and Scotland “united” (lol) to form the Kingdom of Great Britain, the unicorn on the left was replaced with England’s heraldic animal, the slightly confused lion.

And that, boys and girls, is why a unicorn was trying to sell biscuits in Scotland on Tuesday.