What? Like you’ve never used a Limp Bizkit lyric as a headline before.

As a fat man, I can reliably inform you that the worst thing about spinning plates is that the plates are empty. Enter “post-modern vaudevillian” performer, Michael Rayner, with a quick warm-up routine that bypasses the magic aficionado part of my brain and speaks directly to the part that forces me to shovel butter into my mouth with my fingers at 3am.

There is something just completely hypnotizing abut watching that little donut roll and roll and get nowhere. I wonder if it’d be better in slow motion.

 Oh god. Yes. Yessssss.

This is a variation on Rayner’s signature trick, in which he rolls a McDonalds cheeseburger on the parasols (which is also fine with me, hell, put the parasols in cocktails and you basically have a circus act version of my life). His show is a mad mashup of various balancing acts and infectiously energetic comedy. He’s got all kinds of credits to his name, including dozens of TV and ad appearances, writing gigs, and warm-up shows for various sit-coms. His appearance on America’s Got Talent in 2016, didn’t go entirely according to plan, but was hilarious nonetheless.